I am not the writer while I am alive, being one of many.
Sometimes I feel that writing is part of me. When I was kid I started to write stories for local newspaper, it made me feel appreciated. The time past and as I teenager I expressed myself only by writing – I loved to write poetry at that time – I even participated in some workshops.
At the begging I didn’t like to read poetry, I always have been thinking that those are just words in no order to mean something, but then I started to attend writing classes and my first teacher Betija Berga showed me how to create poetry with deep meaning, she took me to that another world, I fell in love it. I spent four-five years writing poetry with passion; covered all my soul with words. I thought it such a beautiful way how to express you without shouting, how to talk about things which should unspoken, even how to make other people feel bad about themselves.
I created my own world in text, I had several notebooks, public diary on social network and later on blog, I was so excited to tell world about things which matters. I always felt released after writing, I felt like somebody have been listening to me.
Somehow at the moment I don’t know the correct way how to write down my feelings as I manage to do that before.
I still have my blog, another one, but I write confusing, it’s not the same girl anymore, probably it is the way how it should be, I am an adult already, but somehow I miss that wake ups during the night and writing down the thoughts I have on my mind at that particular moment. I haven’t write poetry two years already, it just don’t come out of me anymore.
The last most power text written by me was after watching theater play at Valmieras Drama Theater – Hamlet. It made me think so much about people around me that I wrote really sarcastic and rough text kind of review of play, but actually pointing on all weak points of the person who at that time hurted me a lot. I was talking by characters of play, but I made them to be linked with current situation. A lot of people who read it said it maid them to think about their life. I think it is the most important role of writer to make reader think, not only fall for story, but to learn, to take something from it. Indeed I don’t consider myself as a writer, I only write down thoughts time to time, but usually I write without thinking about audience, reader, so my writings are just a diary.
I have to write a lot at job – press releases, newsletters, articles, official replay letters – and this type of writing made me think a lot about reader, because every chosen word depends on audience, I have to choose them wisely, so they wouldn’t harm my employee. I call it artificial writing, because I am building the sentences, not just writing them down.
And I should admit I am not a professional writer – linguist as my grammatical skills of all languages I master with aren’t as good as I wanted. That’s the main reason I decided to join this course. I want to see how others write; I want to get to know some fresh English expressions. Languages are art, one of the ways how to travel, how to take others for journey, how to escape reality and how to get back to it. With words we create our own spaces, our own university which share with others.
I will continue writing while my lifetime and maybe after my death someone will read my notes and call me a good writer – story teller and I will smile on her/him from the corner of golden clouds.
P.S. Esiet maigi, jo es nepretendēju uz Nobela prēmiju angļu valodā. Un kā ierasts daudz neuzmanības kļūdu, bet par tām es domāšu rīt.